do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
barbara walters just said penis...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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