I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
