I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
