I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
