Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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