Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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