So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
