i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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