im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize