I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
