Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
