i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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