I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I want a musical about memes.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
