wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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