and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
