Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
