I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize