Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
