note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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