Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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