Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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