stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My vagina just recognized that song.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
