Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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