his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
