Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
