Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
