Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
