I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
