Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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