I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
