as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
