Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We got so high we made milksteak
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
