I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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