so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
