You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
