Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
