I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
