I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
