No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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