there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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