this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
