i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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