Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Your cock deserves a montage
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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