I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
