hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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