Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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