I'm lost and stupid without you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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