but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
