Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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