Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
