Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Houston, we have a squirter
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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