I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
