If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
