I smell stomach acid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
