i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
