Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
