I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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