ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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