Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize