You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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