i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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