I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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