I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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