If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I would fuck him just for his dog
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
