you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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