You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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