your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize