so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize