im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
