I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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