So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
